Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
