It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Did I show you my penis last night?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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