just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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