she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
