HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
