forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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