Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
