Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(705): View more from Ontario

i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole

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(206): View more from Washington

Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.

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(614): View more from Ohio

she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.

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(757): View more from Virginia

He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

How did you even find out?

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."

(973): View more from New Jersey

Oh.

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(516): View more from New York

There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?

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(540): View more from Virginia

Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."

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(317): View more from Indiana

The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum

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