look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
