I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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