super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
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