i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
