I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
