Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
