You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
