I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
