question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
