New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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