But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
