she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
