Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
