I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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