Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
