Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
