I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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