Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
