you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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