Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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