Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
