finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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