the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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