With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
