no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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