Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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