hotel room ftw
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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