i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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