when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Found the puke drawer
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
