I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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