How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
