No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I pour the whiskey from now on
I came so hard my ears popped.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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