Say something about gay babies.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
