Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
