Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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