she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
