im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
