It's just like the Real World with babies
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
