there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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