i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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