My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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