Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
